As the title suggests, blow a job interviewer in the first 30 seconds will blow a job interview in 30 seconds

Spit on my palm and go in for the handshake

Ask to borrow a pen. Throw it at the interviewer’s head. Ask to borrow a pen…

“The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races” --Homer Simpson (OK the quote was about getting out of jury duty but I think it fits here)

How much for getting hired ?

Sit down, look at the picture of the (child aged) daughter of the person interviewing you, and ask if she’s single.

Actually as someone who does sometimes do interviews: acting like an asshole with a big ego will wreck your chances big time.

Blow the interviewer

I’m autistic, trans and chronically ill.

Do you have gluten free food in the cafeteria? I can’t have more than 4 people around me at any given time. Where’s the toilet for non gendered people?

Should just about do it I suppose.

“All professional decisions I make come down to a simple question: what would Marx do”

“Thanks for your time, but this job isn’t for me. I wish you good luck finding your candidate, though.”

So, how many holidays are there and how much are you offering, if I decide I’m interested?

Fart into my cupped hand while making (and not breaking eye contact) and proceed to “throw” it in the interviewers general direction. (Extra points if you can do this with a straight face)

“Here’s my card. If you wouldn’t mind signing it and giving it back to me, we just need 30% to get a vote on forming a union.”

Instructions unclear, dyslexia made me blow the job interviewer.