Oh! Go buy a Brother

Go buy a ThinkPad.

Don’t buy anything HP.

I’ll never forget my first time driving in Southern California.

I was doing 85mph in a 70mph zone and a prius flew past me.

It’s loss isn’t it…

I ran a stop sign today.

In my company vehicle.

Internal Combustion Engine.

I made a friend in Garry’s Mod back in like, 2006.

We still keep in touch! I have never seen the guy, but we basically grew up together.

I wouldn’t even think twice.

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I still have this fear!

My local Safeway has a big air grate right where they keep sausage/bacon etc… I literally can’t buy those items because I’m too scared to get close to the grate, I’ll drive across town to a different store to avoid it

Oh boy, don’t get me started on HP…

This sounds like a wkuk episode

Yeah, it’s easier if you lick your hand first. You’ll get used to the taste after a while

Damn, she showed up with that 12x18!

I heard that “who let the dogs out” by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

I was helping my mom shop for a new car, and we discovered she needed the requirement of “physical AC controls”.

Everything is all on the touch screen.

No, they aren’t.

All of my coworkers are super trump supporters, they even bought the flag from the assassination attempt. Yesterday, one of them told me to go “fuck my couch” and I said “there’s enough couch fuckers around” which confused him.

I awkwardly explained the JD Vance couch thing (I know it was just a troll, it didn’t actually happen) and he BLEW UP. He was explaining that he looks up to and respects JD and I shouldn’t believe what I’m seeing on the internet.

When I’m dealing with ISP or phone customer service, I always ask for the cancelation department. They are motivated to keep customers so sometimes they’ll throw in a coupon, especially if you treat them like a human.