I’ve had downloads resume properly over http back in the 2000s at least 4 times.

yeah but we have a ton of porn!

5 is worst on websites, but “adaptive UX” apps do this, too. It’s a crime.

4 is trivially fixed, for many Linux WMs. Here’s for KDE. It’s less trivial for xfce, but possible. Here’s how to do it in i3 (this is as simple as any configuration in i3).

3 is clearly satire, and a very real and valid condemnation about modern web page design. Use Hugo (or similar) and pick a lightweight theme: there are several nice looking ones that specifically exclude JavaScript, which is the main culprit.

1 is such. A. Pain. Sure, if you use KDE or mconnect and the KDE app on Android, it’s easy. The Device Connect app works really well. Apple to Apple is trivial. But arbitrary device to arbitrary device? The problem is that there’s no standard championed by anyone. Apple is not interested in pushing their protocol: they have a vested interest in making all other devices a PITA so people are encouraged to buy into the Apple ecosystem. Google has been oddly inactive about it. Samsung does the same thing Apple does. We have the Wormhole protocol which is fantastic, but not even the main Linux desktops have built-in support; c.f. KDE Connect.

the chaotic neutral for #1 is making a torrent and leeching off of youself

I hate 5. there’s nothing worse than clicking on a page, clicking a button and the split second before you click it the page inexplicably moves 2 inches up or down causing you to click something else