She had interviewed and met both remotely and in person, this guy was merely an HR drone confirming her documentation. I was a little bent when she told me he had asked her to remove her blur filter “to have a look at her working environment, make sure it’s not cluttered” (something along those lines). No one else at this company requested such. Was he way out of line?

I should note, this is my PC in our living room and not where she will be working from. And this guy wants a look around our home?! Told my wife to bring this up once she’s settled in, ask HR if this is policy. She started today!

She thinks it’s a racism thing. I’m not so sure, but I don’t have any other explanation.

    • @Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      39•7 months ago

      No one else at this company requested such. Was he way out of line?

      People who experience discrimination develop a sense for when someone is othering them. It’s not always correct, because it involves intuition, and you can misread people. But will still develop a sense for it.

      Now, apply this to OP’s wife. OP says this about her:

      If I hadn’t seen the blatant discrimination she’s faced job hunting, I’d be more skeptical. She’s Filipino, but that’s “Mexican” to many. When I say blatant, I mean to say heads would roll if we had some of this on camera. She’s mostly unhurt by these things, just figures that’s the way of the world. But damn. One lady asked if she was Asian and was visibly appalled. Another said she would have to attend their church, and barely stopped short of asking her to renounce Catholicism. There’s much more I’m not remembering ATM.

      • nudny ekscentryk
        -2•7 months ago

        But why racism is particular? Sure I see how she has been “othered” by the interviewer, but why racism?

        • @Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          14•7 months ago

          I have a birthmark that reads ‘VAGINA’ on my face.
          Some people treat me differently from the moment I meet them.
          I say, “I think that those people are reacting to my birthmark.”

           

          You ask: “Why assume they react to your VAGINA birthmark in particular?”

          1. The VAGINA birthmark is visible.
          2. People have made fun of me for having it before.
          3. I can see facial expressions when people perceive it, and notice features of judgemental reaction in their speech and behaviour after.

           

          Now, apply this to OP’s wife. OP says this about her:

          If I hadn’t seen the blatant discrimination she’s faced job hunting, I’d be more skeptical. She’s Filipino, but that’s “Mexican” to many. When I say blatant, I mean to say heads would roll if we had some of this on camera. She’s mostly unhurt by these things, just figures that’s the way of the world. But damn. One lady asked if she was Asian and was visibly appalled. Another said she would have to attend their church, and barely stopped short of asking her to renounce Catholicism. There’s much more I’m not remembering ATM.

           

          I’m heavily autistic. I’ve figured this all out logically, as a person who has experience discrimination myself. It wasn’t easy, because I don’t grasp social cues natively. I thought I’d been doing something wrong for a long long time when people initially appraised me as ‘other’, but it turned out they were just being judgemental assholes. If you’re not heavily autistic, I believe it should be easier for you to figure all this out, right?