Already lost to a bunch of hoodlums (hoodla?) who TAKE the piss. And then kick the shit out of you.

In other words, “trumped-up” charges?

Which track is your favorite?

Here, put this on one of those cards:

“Be the change you want to see”

That’s one C-suite that doesn’t even need to be replaced by AI. Based on what he says, he could probably be replaced by a simple, dumb script.

Practice makes perfect! If you don’t succeed, try, try again!

They admitted, with obvious glee

I mean, all practicing Christians eat of the body of Christ and drink of his blood…

$299

Mic drop.

That’s not realistic. They’d never use real names like “Bobby”.

Could stay technically true with a pun:

…and the love of my wife, Justin.

What if the day in question isn’t a Monday?

What’s the point of smartphone colors that will get completely covered by the phone case? And don’t tell me phone cases are not necessary, I’ve accidentally dropped my phone enough times!

(I’m on my 4th smartphone in about 12 years, and I’ve never scratched or cracked a screen)

Users have somehow been trained to ignore and dismiss error messages. Probably from getting too many ad pop-ups.

Does it taste like you put the lime in the coconut?

I heard countertop banana stand owners tend to also own banana hammocks.

Much of the province of Québec is already boycotting them since January, after they closed all their warehouses here to prevent them from unionizing.

Only if you bring your own house with you.

Unlikely, but there’s always jury nullification. Which I just realized would be recorded as a “not guilty” verdict, though the implication is “he did it, but we think it’s OK”

Just rent a nice French bomb, and blow up Mar-a-Lago