I’d just change my name to Aaron Aardvark and collect my twenty-five hundred dollars (minimum) per report card.

A sniper with an innate sense of comedic timing?

I’m pretty sure he wasn’t shot in the face.

I don’t think you actually have to do anything to piss off vegans.

I think the lack of meat just makes them mildly bitchy.

I’m a believer in harm reduction and the lesser of two evils that’s why I vote democrat.

Is the food you eat farmed with tractors and transported in semis?

So a steak dinner that someone’s about to throw out can be vegan?

Oh it happens!

It’s strange that French food has high standards when they’re French.

Where do you buy algae only oil?

I feel like it works where it is and I’ve never crashed into it.

I’m going to need to move the sub under the table next because I’ll need that last compartment for more records soon.

Is a leather couch vegan?

Plankton have animals in it though.

It doesn’t need fixing.

No it should be a binary thing either yes or no.

So is it?

She still gasps when I slide my phone in her pocket.

How do you guys manage to make a relationship work on different instances?

Everyone that isn’t on piefed.world is a fascist commie far-right tankie heathen.

A thirteen year old facing four felonies is fucked almost as bad as a thirteen year old having twenty-three guns.

Charge the mother with the felonies and give the kid a chance.