First time making a āpersonalā post and I just wanted to share some thoughts.
I find it appalling how society pressures people, especially women, to remain youthful - appear younger, have clear skin, stay the same weight since their early years. I see the effects of this on my older sister who loathes wrinkles and grey hair. She grew up with reality shows in the 2000s that highlighted appearances and superficiality, all about how to look on the outsideā¦
I feel grateful to spend so much time with my parents (in their 50s). My mother has started growing grey hair and I find it beautiful. She, just like my father, has wrinkles and āimperfectā skin that I canāt help but admire. Wrinkles tell such a story; of the times you smiled, laughedā¦ they tell people you have lived a life of joy.
I canāt wait until I grow older. Grow grey hair (itās like being blonde but without the yellowā¦ and as a brunette, it seems like such a fun shift), grow wrinkles from laughing and spending time doing things I like. I look forward to travelling in my young years and looking back on it in my older years. I canāt wait to drink coffee with fellow 60-year olds and speak of how fast the world seems to change, yet time for us moves so slowly whenever we spend time together.
I donāt know. Maybe it sounds ridiculous. But I canāt wait to grow as a person. Become 20, 30, 60ā¦ I hope one day society will embrace aging and see how pretty life can get at the later stages.
Iāve got to tell you as a 50 year old: everything hurts ā all the time.
Welp. I know life isnāt perfectā¦ but I try to be optimistic.
Just take care of your body and it wonāt hurt all the time. Knees and back are the ones you really want to protect. Work out regularly even if you donāt feel like it. Do some yoga to keep yourself limber. Do this early in and life and make it a habit so later in life you wonāt have to worry about your body hurting like some 50 year olds.
I agree overall with what you are saying but as someone who for decades has worked out daily, eats well (or at least conscientiously), has never smoked or done rec drugs, rarely drinks, etcā¦ age still catches up to you. It feels unfair since Iāve been trying pretty hard to keep my body together for so long but Iām attempting radical acceptance. Seeing everyone I know who all have healthy lifestyles also having to deal with shoulder and knee pain and other things is also leading me to acceptance. Also having close friends in their 30s and 40 die of cancer changes oneās perspective on what one can control in lifeā¦ We just do what we can and roll with the rest.
And some 30 year olds.
It shouldnāt. Do you have a healthy lifestyle?
Heh. I do. But artritis is a bitch
Maybe itās just how things turned out for me, but when I was younger my brain and body were stronger but things were situationally pretty bad until I got to college. Now that Iām around 30, situationally my life couldnāt be better, but exercising doesnāt feel good any more so itās a chore, the world is on fire just like I was warned it would be as a child, I donāt have the drive to learn any more, and it feels so unfair that I donāt get to experience the life I have the way I imagined because getting here took too much out of me. But hey, at least itās not bad. Maybe thereās hope I āget betterā.
I think healthy aging is beautiful, but I donāt think most people age healthy. If my wrinkles are based on the first 25 years of my life, theyāre going to show frustration and exhaustion. I hope your winkles do show youāve lived a life of joy though. Keep up with exercise and healthy eating, thatās more than half the battle
it feels so unfair that I donāt get to experience the life I have the way I imagined because getting here took too much out of me
Fuck, thatās relatable.
I understand this. My early life was pretty bad. In my 20s, I got away from my family a lot more, and started living my life (mostly) how I wanted to. Iām in my 40s now, and I look significantly younger than most of my contemporaries. Iām not saying this to brag in any way. Iām simply trying to point out that stress and all those things in early life donāt HAVE to lead to anything. They make us stronger, more resilient, and capable, as much as that sucks to have gone through.
Not trying to preach or tell you anything you likely donāt already know, but as for exercising not feeling good, change it up! Find a new sport. Take a break from your usual workout. Start walking more. Look into yoga. Yoga is truly one of those things that everyone should do. Itās crazy how much is affects your day to day. Everyone I know over like 30 complains about back pain, and I used to too. I have NONE (unless I do something stupid) after I started doing yoga 5 days a week.
Also, evaluate how you eat, and what you eat. Iāve started noticing A LOT more that what I eat the days before a workout have a much bigger impact on my workout than ever. I ate terribly this weekend, and yesterday, and my morning run was so much worse than normal today. I was dragging ass, and it was HARD, even though it was my mostly flat fast run (spoiler it wasnāt fast today)
I agree that the world is getting seemingly darker by the year. I know that the political climate in many influential countries is going downhill, and how it affects the rest of us regular citizens. I think the reason Iām so optimistic is because frankly, I have wasted my teenage years and went through a deep depression a few years ago. Now I canāt get those years back, but I hope my adult life will be better; I like to think the worst for me is over, at least when it comes to mental health. I have learnt so much from my parents, I have grown, and there is no reason I wonāt keep growing in the future. Life is different for everybody and I sorely wish we all could look forward to aging, but current politics makes it difficult.
I love this! I feel this too.
Iām 41, so a lot of my age-peers are running up against the cumulative effect of decades of neglecting their bodies and starting to curse the aging process, but Iām secretly kinda loving it. I made a conscious choice to be more active in my 30s, and now Iām in the best shape of my life.
I have much less energy and so many fewer fucks to give, and this means Iāve had to learn to be strategic and learn when to cut out things - including relationships - that arenāt edifying.
Iām a traditionally cute petite cis woman, and I had fantasized my whole life about shaving my blonde curls off and freeing myself from those golden chains, so I finally buzzed it this spring, and it looks great. And I am in stealth mode all the time now!! Nobody ever recognizes me until they see me with my husband, itās hilarious and awesome every time.
I know myself and my own capabilities better, so I am better about not getting myself in over my head, and Iām more able to ignore skeptics and naysayers. Most of the time, I no longer feel the need to be overly polite and accommodating to their desire to give me unsolicited advice, which is awesome.
I am having a tremendous amount of fun getting old, and I think you will too! I love your attitude. ā
I love your attitude too! I see quite a few people here arenāt having the best time in their older years, and thatās ok, I understand - but I will remain positive when it comes to aging nonetheless, despite how the world looks at the moment. I commonly see more women being happier about being 40/50, which gives me hope.
Are you on the younger side? Generally younger people want to be older mostly to be able to do more adult things or have the things in life older people have built over time.
Getting older isnāt just looks although that is just a matter of personal preference. There are health concerns and things like lower energy. Taking care of yourself helps a ton but sometimes you get bad genetics or some kind of aliment anyway. And age will eventually catch up with most people.
I do still recommend things like exercise so you can feel 30 at 60 instead of 60 at 30.
Any age between 25 and 55 is good. Over 55 though things go down hill shockingly fast. My wife and I are early 60s and we both have this experience. I am a couple years younger and my wife will complain about something. About 2 years later I notice the same thing about myself. Still in good health but age based limits start to show up everywhere in growing amounts faster then I ever expected.
I think 50 to 55 is the best age all things considered. Of course I would rather have the physical body of 25 and the life state and everything else of 53.
I feel like Iām a kid in an adult body trying to pass off as an adult. Always walking on my toes mentally. Being expected to know and do things way beyond what Iām able to.
I feel like aging only makes it worse.
I think Iām going to be a great old man. Relaxing all day, video games with the grandkids, having strong opinions about soups. That sounds like the life to me.
I think itās fascinating that we live in an age where itās gonna be commonplace that 80-90-year-olds are playing video games.
For sure! Thereās even some evidence to show that it keeps your brain active and can delay dementia-type symptoms.
I think itāll be a fun bonding experience for parents/grandparents with kids too. Imagine how different growing up wouldāve been with parents who were into games as much or more than you were.
Iām at an age where aging isnāt fun any more.
Turned old this year. Would prefer to not do this aging thing anymore.
I donāt hear anyone complaining about the alternative.
Thatās a great perspective. What youāre missing though are the non-cosmetic physical changes that occur as you age. Your bones get brittle, your hormones get out of wack, your skin and muscles lose elasticity, you lose muscle mass, get weaker, sustain injuries easier, and take longer to heal. Aging gracefully is great, but itās still pretty unpleasant when you throw your back out buttoning up a shirt.
I donāt. I find Iām enjoying the age Iām at and it would be excellent if I could stay like this forever! I can go on 5 hour hikes and kayak rides if I get too old my back or legs or arms will get sore just like they do now, but then wonāt stop being sore. Sounds like you havenāt reached 20 yet, youāll learn a lot yet!
I donāt look forward to it but I donāt think itās bad either. I try to live in one day at a time. Future angst brings me to standstill.
I completely understand that. I think the best thing to do is to take one day at a time, like you say. Overthinking about the future can easily bring stress as opposed to hope.
Not really, but less because of changing appearances and more due to having to deal with the health issues that come along with it. Also, I feel like the human lifespan is way too short including even the best case scenarios with our current technology, but that may change in the future.
Iām in my 40s, and Iām still not ready to have grey hair. Iāll keep dying it until Iām ready for it. As for the rest of the stuff people put themselves through, no thanks. Iām not trying to spend huge sums of money on treatments, peels, products, or plastic surgery.
I have a bunch of younger cousins who are like you, they just donāt give a shit about it. They and their friends donāt think itās required to shave their legs/pits. They arenāt dying their hair, or any of the other things to keep looking younger. They saw they parents doing it all, and just donāt want to participate. Iām a little envious of their no fucks to give, but like I said, Iām not there yet.
Thatās okay - itās important to do things your own pace and not give in to peer pressure or whatever else people say. My mom recently stopped dyeing her hair and is now embracing the grey look. Everybody should take their time with things, and not being ready yet is just as okay.
Well, Iām 51 and female, and I thoroughly enjoy being the age that I am. In fact I would say that I would rather be this age than any other age Iāve experienced yet. I highly recommend it. I know getting older is not going to be an entirely pleasant experience, but menopause was very like a second puberty, but instead of being self-conscious and insecure, this time I have run out of fucks to give and just do as I please, regardless of what people think. I had hot pink hair for most of the last year, I only gave it up because Iām too lazy to maintain it.
Itās great hearing this. Iām glad at least somebody is having an ok time with being older.
Iām kinda a mix between the two. I take pretty good care of myself. I have a good diet, work out 3-4 times a week, use lotions, sunscreen, take care of my hair, etc. I want to live to be 100+ because I want to see how society will progress, but I also want to feel good while doing it.
Iām not necessarily āpreservingā myself for vanity, but more for my well being. Plus, Iām a guy and donāt get compliments often, so when someone tells me that my skin looks nice or that I have nice hair, gives me a little boost for the day lol. Maybe there is a little vanity involved and Iām ok with that.
However, I donāt mind aging. I still feel like a 16-18 year old inside so seeing myself age makes me feel like a āreal adultā in a way
