I dislike anyone implying they know what is best for me on any topic if they are not a professional, having children often makes people they are an expert for some reason
Well they are usually more of an expert on kids than people who don’t have kids. But if you don’t really want to have kids you definitely should not.
like being an expert on sicking a fork in the power socket
it makes you and expert on what 220 volts feels like in your specific home not an expert on how best to makes sound choices
You should try feeling the 220 in my home. Buttery smooth, like no other!
As an expert myself in taking electrical damage , I would like to thank you for allowimg me into your homeandb-bzzzt…
Mind explaining how is this analogy? What kind of wibby dibby logic you used?
Their point is that you’re an expert on the results (220V coursing through you) which is not a very useful skill to have. But you’re not an expert on the useful thing related to forks in power sockets I.e. how to avoid it.
Parents know what it’s like to have kids - obviously - that’s the 220v they subjected themselves to. That’s not very helpful though when it comes to the matter of whether someone should have kids or not.
lmao you’re thinking way to hard about it
Yeah, but they bust out their kids for totally irrelevant stuff. I was in an intro to archaeology course where this one lady prefaced all her statements with “As a mother…” Like, good for you, Janet, but I don’t think you popping out a couple of kids gives you any real insight into the spiritual practices and beliefs of indigenous peoples of the Amazon.
“As a mother , my 2 year-old daughter once devised this ground-breaking thesis on the origins of how colonialism led to drastic changes in Indigenous practices …” 🤓
No, it really doesn’t. It makes them an expert on their kids. Implying that’s all kids even they would agree is wrong, because they’ll tell other people not to tell them how to raise their kids. Also, regardless of that, it doesn’t even imply they’re doing a good job raising their kids. They could be raising shitty kids. Ignoring all advice blinds you to ways you can improve.
I said ‘usually’ and ‘more of an expert’. Take a chill pill. Not having kids usually means you don’t have have the experience, so you’re certainly not an expert. I’m not sure who is ignoring advice in your interpretation of this scenario; if you don’t have kids you really shouldn’t be giving advice on raising kids! Generally giving unsolicited advice is a bad idea. No one should be advising someone else to have kids, or not to.
…You said two things that were just completely , laughably wrong .
Bro if a pediatric psychologist who has been in their field for like 60 years , hasnt been involved in any controversy , but dooesnt have kids of their own DNA wants to give other people advice on general ideas of how to healthily raise kids ? ANY parent would be clearly smokkng the pipe if they didnt listen to that advice.
and secondly , it doesnt matter who gives who on advice on whether they should have kids or not just as long as its adults talking about that adviice. If a 60 year old who is STILL unsure comes to me and asks me for advice on if they should have kids or not …Im 30… do you really think thatt it would still be a bad idea to give that person advice on not havinng children despite the fact that Im muuch younger than them? At the age of 60 no human has the ability to regularly give birth to children without birth defects. and at that age infertility is commonality amongst humans. A persom is crazy if they dont give advice to a person who is in their mid 50s or early 60s to just not have children cause a child born that age will almost certainly have some sort of defect, the parents will be too old to raise that child, hecl even having a healthy pregnancy at that age is a monumental feat that most women cant meet through no fault of their own.
Also the majority of humans oof all ages dont even have reliable access to competent sexual education, birth controls, steriliziations and abortions - so even if you did advise them to not have children … theyd have no way of following that advice other than NEVER having sex… But most adults rrport not identifying as asexual so that means most of them will attempt to find ways to have sex with othher adults. Surveys show that most adults report eventually having had sex at least once. Surveys also show that tmost adults report already being a parennt or having the desire fo eventually become a parent. SO that tmeams that most adults will probably eventually , sometimes accidentally, produce a child. Now that I think about it, as things stand today advising a person not to have children is almost useless cauuse 1. most adults will become a parent voluntarily eventually according to what theyve said in surveys annd 2. most people dont even have access to the things that would prevent accidental pregnancies like competent sexual education, steriliizations and biirth controls or things to preveent regretful parenthood, like abortion.
Edit:: also one final thing Ill addd is that the childfree lifestyle is often ommitted from media all over the planet so most addults dont even know that being childfree is an options. In russia foor example all mentions of 'childfree’ism are banned and its mention is an arrestable offence. Unsure adults who stucK in these types of previous scenarios I juust talked about should DEFINIITELY be given advice on if they should consider and soul search inside themselves if they are childfree or not.
You’re a bit unhinged, it seems. And also your reading comprehension sucks. No offense.
Oh dont worry even my psychologist has acknowledgesd thst Im unhinged.
I am talking more about being an expert on what is best for people, 90% of the time people with kids wanted them beforehand, so I don’t buy the good feelings they might have had raising children would apply to everyone if they simply accepted what they didn’t want and had kids themselves anyway
The funny thing is that all the people Ive met who have told me to have kids anyways have been like this.
Theu said that THEY felt good giving birth to and raising their kids …therefoee they claim to be an expert in MY situation and tell me I should have kids anyways cause itll make me feel better despite barely knowing about my situation…
And there are probably other people out there doing the same to other people
Exactly.
Nobofy can talk about what is best for anyone else unless theyre an expert in the person’s specific situation.
Your comment reminded me that I ised to think that the birth control pill was a poison that needs to be banned globally because of that one TedTalk from that lady who said that the birth control pill had poisoned some of her clients
BUT THEN I saw this video from this gynecologist : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb4-MOubIyM where she talked about how the birth control pill isnt used only for birth control. SOme poeple use the birth control pill for endometriosis. Some people use it for PCOS. Heck, some men or even transitioning men probably use the pill cause of hormonal issues here and there. Basically what she wanted to hammer out was this: “The birth contrpl pill poisons SOME people due to its effects ya ya ya, but the birth control pill is essential to life for other people. Basically humans, despite sharing 99% of the same genetics, are all very different because of that 1%. Some things that poisons some humans will be life-saving for othere humans. HRT is mandatory for some seniors but will absolutely poison most toddlers …so do we now ban all forms of HRT? Or do we use HRT in a case-by-case basis that experts have either studied and say will help certain people or are currently in the process of conducting studies on?”
One reason why I got my vasectomy was cause I was afraid my future wife or furture girfriend would have negative effects from the birth control pil when I met her… but Im not an endocrinogist in any way…so how was I supposed to know that the birth contrll pill would have significant negaitve effects on her in particular? I havent even met her yet…so how do I know her situation? lol
What Im trying to say is that the decision to take the birth control pill is like the decisoon to e becoming a parent in some ways. It is up to each person to carefully search their soul AND to seek expert help to determine what is best for them based on their situation.
Nobody ahould feel like theyre being forced to become a parent. nobody should feel like theyre being forced to take the pill.
Case-by-case basis and each persom has to determine if theyre a special case
There’s people that should have been child free. Like whoever made sam altman, jeff bozo, and muskrat for example.
Considering most kids I see out in the wild, my guess is that most parents shouldn’t be parents. Today I saw a kid running across restaurant tables as his parents did what parents do. Aww, how cuuuute.
I’m a bit bothered by that. Maybe I have a different perspective, but can we just sit quietly? It was funny when I was in Japan and I thought, hey kids don’t go on a conversation on the train…
I think the probpem is that tthere are too many parents out there that tdont know WHEN to let their child just be a child. Instead too many parents reward their child when their child does childish things everywhere and anywhere when instead thes epareents should only be allowing their child to do childish things at an open space that is made to allowing children to do this type of experimentation like a playdium or a park or a gymnastics practice or a forest or jungle gym… NOT in a restaurant.
I remmember having this one talk with a kindergarten teacher and theteacher was calm as a tranquilized cucumber despite seeing kids flyingn all oover the class room. SHe basically said that since children aree born not knowinng the physics or the ‘rules’ of ouur society, a society with rules that were crafted by adults , its basically like the children were born into a video game in ‘sandbox mode’. The kids are just trying to unerstand what are ethe limits of, the rules, their bodies, or of the limitss of the physics of this world are at all times. The kids are basically ‘testing EVERYTHING’ all the time.
And now take that example of the kid running across the restaurant table and the parents saying ‘Aww’. The parents in that situation were correct in letting their child ‘test’ out what it was running accross, but the parents were wrong in allowing. the child to conduct that test in the miiddle of the restaurant on a table. Had those parents taken their kiids first out to the playground to ‘test’ out what running on the ‘tables’ at the playground was slike and to burn off their energy then the child probablt wouldnt have had ran across that table. If that child had slipped on something oily or watery on the table and gotten injured …weell…
I think the major aspect is to function in society. Maybe there would be less Karens or whatever. Playing on the street with your friends is one thing, but in a room full of other people is a bit different. The one thing about teachers part that you mentioned, as I was an educator for a bit, you don’t put your hands on someone’s kid. High risk, no reward. You can only use your voice really, and I mean yelling. The restraint techniques require two educators, mostly for legal reasons, and well it’s funny that they’re military style ones; of course there’s emergency ones and it’s too risky.
I get a fair bit of jealousy because I have three money and no kids
But that’s not why I didn’t breed
I just don’t like kids and had no desire to be a parent
Everything else is merely a bonus, not a reason
It’s telling when breeders immediately seize on my lifestyle as a reason to criticise me
Jealous losers
Three whole moneys?
“What is this nonsense!? You, FistingEnthusiast - an adult who has their own independent life , have reproductive rights and youve decided to use those reproductive rights to… NOT reproduce!? GASP! hOw dArE yoU!?¿¡1 Your decision to not breed is ruining MY life!!!”
Im guessing thats how some of those arguments went ? lol
The most common response is “that’s selfish”
- said by the same people who unironically ask, “iF yOu dON’t hAve KidS, wHo’LL tAKe cArE oF yoU wHen yOU’rE oLd?!”
- said by the same people who unironically would also watch another child that wasnt birthed by them and is a homeless child freeze in the streets all because that chilld doesnt have similarr DNA to them
Lmfao I never thought I’d see that username outside of the Digg revival attempt.
Agreed on your comment though. I don’t want them and everything that comes with that decision is a bonus not a reason.
Op over there like, "I can’t have kids it would ruin my “preferred lifestyle” " then complaining when people comment on their lifestyle.
When have I complained about people commenting?
They can be jealous, I couldn’t care less
I was just making a joke about the idea that the “lifestyle” is “enjoying fisting”. Not so much “not having kids.”
Gotcha
never having kids myself but its kinda mean to lump all parents together
responably having 1-2 kids isnt on the same level as popping out a bakers dozen
Aye if youre oit here having kids when the option to adopt is present and available then you might as well see yourself as being a ‘bakers dozen breeder’
There are dozens of kids to adopt in every country on the planet. ALL these children are worthy of parents’ love. And the fact that most of humanity has put up so many hurdles to make adoption occur and would only care for a child if it shares DNA with them further convicts humanity about our lack of our care for the most important beings of human society .
Indeed!
I feel too many parents act as if childfree people wouldnt know UNLESS we had kids … but these same parents fail to realize that some of us have been babysitters, and EC educators, and have seen what destructive and nonsensical things kids do in private and obviously do in public and have decidd that we just dont want them cause of these experiences and witnessings lol.
Tis not same just a little part of the whole experience minus emotional link. Even having pet is closer
Also I don’t understand why parent and child thing still have reference to outdated previous era or time where a family need to survive by tribal rules, which usually ends with conflict or crime which clearly recorded in history.
All that knowledge and public still insist having children is better than not.
