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Flying SquidM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 1 year ago

The average American shower

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The average American shower

lemmy.world

Flying SquidM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 1 year ago
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  • Brave Little Hitachi Wand
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    41•1 year ago

    Hey, until you’ve had a beer in the shower don’t talk shit. It rules

    • Scott
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      8•1 year ago

      I have had a number of shower seltzers and ciders, it’s great!

      • @Coreidan@lemmy.world
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        0•1 year ago

        Sounds a lot like alcoholism

        • @Milk_Sheikh@lemm.ee
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          11•1 year ago

          Like any substance use, it depends.

          Shower beer/seltzer/soda is great at the end of a long day/hard run/big trip etc from the hot water getting your body clean, and the cold refreshing beverage you drink during the process

          If beer #7 gets brought into the shower at 3pm, you likely need to sit down and take a look at your life choices

        • KingJalopy
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          8•1 year ago

          *functional alcoholism

        • @ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
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          3•1 year ago

          http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2014/p1120-excessive-driniking.html

          Weird when people throw worlds around that like for fun.

        • Scott
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          2•1 year ago

          I don’t even drink that much anymore since I mostly just have edibles, but on occasion I will take a drink with me into the shower after a long day, should try it.

          • @Coreidan@lemmy.world
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            1•1 year ago

            I don’t even drink that much anymore since I mostly just have edibles

            Glad to hear it! Addiction sucks. I’ve seen it destroy far too many lives.

            How do you prevent water from going into your beverage?

            • Scott
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              2•1 year ago

              Never had an addiction, I just don’t drink much because it fucks up my digestive system.

              I also keep a 64oz water bottle at my side.

              • @Coreidan@lemmy.world
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                1•1 year ago

                Sorry didn’t mean to imply you did. I just mean alcohol sucks and it can lead to bigger problems.

                I stopped drinking as well because it gave me gastro issues. I believe it’s poison and any amount causes damage.

    • @gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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      6•1 year ago

      A shower beer can be pleasant once in a while for sure

    • @permik@lemmy.world
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      2•1 year ago

      That’s just the sauna beer of the rest of the world. :D

  • @johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world
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    38•1 year ago

    Smoking in the US has actually fallen off a lot.

    • @UsernameIsTooLon@lemmy.world
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      28•
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      1 year ago

      Yea we vape now! Smoking is yucky and gives you cancer but ooooh mango flavor

      • @pelotron@midwest.social
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        10•1 year ago

        I love the smell of chemistry sets in the morning

        • @UsernameIsTooLon@lemmy.world
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          9•1 year ago

          Need to puff my flavored air before I can start my day

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      9•1 year ago

      Sure. Have you tried smoking in the shower?

      • @bfg9k@lemmy.world
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        7•1 year ago

        Once, when I came home high as hell from a friend’s party. Surprisingly did OK. Just had to keep it up and over the shower wall do the water didn’t get it.

        Wouldn’t do it in an enclosed bathroom with no windows again though.

      • KingJalopy
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        2•1 year ago

        I tried vaping in the shower but it didn’t work for very long

        • @aelwero@lemmy.world
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          3•1 year ago

          I vape in the shower every morning. I’ve also dropped it a bajillion times, including dropping it while on a motorcycle doing 60mph or so. Still works just fine :)

  • @Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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    29•1 year ago

    I dunno. Looks staged. Loofah and cigarettes are more suggestive of European shower.

    • @800XL@lemmy.world
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      19•1 year ago

      That’s because this is an American woman’s shower. That’s a “personal protection” purse gun. If it were a man in that shower his manhood compensating modded fully auto AR-15 covered in Punisher, thin blue line, and trump 2020 stickers would be visible.

      • Flying SquidOPM
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        13•1 year ago

        Seriously. Wasn’t the cocoa butter a clue? Like any real manly man would put cocoa butter on his balls. Whenever he gets a chance. Cocoa butter. On his balls.

        Excuse me, I’ll be right back.

        • @OpenStars@startrek.website
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          8•1 year ago

        • @seth@lemmy.world
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          4•1 year ago

          deleted by creator

          • Flying SquidOPM
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            3•1 year ago

            I tried putting hot cocoa on my balls.

            That’s why I needed a skin graft on my balls.

            • @800XL@lemmy.world
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              2•1 year ago

              But those balls are super smooth now that all the hair was burned off.

              • Flying SquidOPM
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                1•1 year ago

                Especially since they got the skin off my ass.

                • @800XL@lemmy.world
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                  2•1 year ago

                  Lucky you. My ass skin is like wet tanned leather that sat in sand.

            • @seth@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              deleted by creator

      • @TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        5•1 year ago

        It would also be cowboy killers (Marlboro reds) instead of 27s. There are some subtle clues.

        • KingJalopy
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          4•1 year ago

          Nah we broke and 27s are a bit cheaper

          • @TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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            1•1 year ago

            That’s why I swapped to special blend before I quit. I get it.

      • @Godric@lemmy.world
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        2•1 year ago

        Fuck off, I’m an American Man and I shower with my AR-15 with “This Machine Kills Fascists”, Dark Brandon, and Pride stickers; don’t leave me out

        • @800XL@lemmy.world
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          2•1 year ago

          Well you fuck off because I’m gonna get an AR-15 and shower with it. On one side I’ll have Punisher, thin blue line, and trump 2020 stickers and on the other “This Machine Kills Fascists”, Dark Brandon, and Pride stickers.

      • @5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1•1 year ago

        Because American women can’t have AR guns in a purse?

        • KingJalopy
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          2•1 year ago

          Not really

        • @800XL@lemmy.world
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          1•1 year ago

          maybe disassembled if the bag is big enough

      • @yumpsuit@lemmy.world
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        1•1 year ago

        And you better believe the manosphere psycho who keeps that grout perfectly clean is going to be shining up the chrome of an engraved Gadsden snek on whatever the revolver equivalent of a submarine chronometer is. Matte black means you can’t stare into the eyes of your reflection on the gun while you jerk off.

        • @800XL@lemmy.world
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          2•1 year ago

          Throw in Fox News on high volume and you just described the best Sat night ever.

    • Scott
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      2•1 year ago

      The Buc-ee’s lighter says Texas lol

  • balderdash
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    24•1 year ago

    I wash my ass with beer as nature intended

  • @TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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    23•1 year ago

    That’s pretty obviously a Texan’s shower. The Buc-ee’s lighter is a giveaway. However, that’s a Pabst instead of a Lone Star.

    I’m very concerned about that person’s mental health.

  • @ScrollerBall@lemmy.world
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    19•1 year ago

    Reminds me of this

    • @SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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      1•1 year ago

      I loved this guy’s delivery

  • key
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    17•1 year ago

    Hey, I stick to snuff when I’m in the shower. Save the cigarettes for when I can mix it with weed with dry hands.

  • @ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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    16•1 year ago

    You only bring the one lit cigarette in with you, and the shower gun is in a waterproof box attached to the wall. We care for our guns.

  • THCDenton
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    14•1 year ago

    Nice glock bro

  • @ChrisLicht@lemm.ee
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    14•1 year ago

    I used to smoke in the shower in the ‘70s. Loved it.

    I also had a roommate who had to get up at least once per night to smoke.

  • TomMasz
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    11•1 year ago

    In college, after working Friday night in the dining hall kitchen, a Pabst 16oz can was my shower beer before heading out to the weekend parties.

    How I still got up to work Saturday and Sunday breakfast shift is nothing short of miraculous.

  • @TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world
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    10•1 year ago

    American breakfast

  • @MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • @chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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      10•1 year ago

      The shower is in the back seat.

    • @AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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      4•1 year ago

      They don’t make showers that big. Not even public showers.

  • @nieceandtows@programming.dev
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    8•1 year ago

    What about the average American grower?

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      4•1 year ago

      They don’t need the gun.

  • @Mutterwitz@feddit.de
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    7•1 year ago

    No burger the size of a child’s heads or at least a couple shower twinkies? As a european, I am disappointed.

    • Flying SquidOPM
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      4•1 year ago

      There is no such thing as a shower Twinkie, but I think you’re on to something and should contact the Hostess company.

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