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@ElCanut@jlai.lu to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml • 1 year ago

Little bobby Fortran

jlai.lu

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Little bobby Fortran

jlai.lu

@ElCanut@jlai.lu to Programmer Humor@lemmy.ml • 1 year ago
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  • Tar_Alcaran
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    268•1 year ago

    But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he’s literally Fortran.

    • @kungen@feddit.nu
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      140•1 year ago

      “I was born for this!”

      • @asbestos@lemmy.world
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        54•1 year ago

        I was born INTO THIS

        • @SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world
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          16•1 year ago

          The heart is blackened.

      • BlanketsWithSmallpox
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        17•1 year ago

        Nominative determinism.

    • @cannedtuna@lemmy.world
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      82•1 year ago

      He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

      • @Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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        20•1 year ago

        fucking golf clap

    • @ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
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      32•1 year ago

      Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

      • @frezik@midwest.social
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        16•1 year ago

        I’ve actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.

      • @felbane@lemmy.world
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        9•1 year ago

        And his sister, the famous arsonist Anita Mcburney.

    • @booly@sh.itjust.works
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      21•1 year ago

      Your dentist’s name is Crentist?

      • @NoisyFlake@lemm.ee
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        12•1 year ago

        Maybe that’s why he became a dentist.

    • @NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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      4•1 year ago

      “It’s a Fortran system; I know this!”

  • @Dasnap@lemmy.world
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    187•1 year ago

    My parents called me Basic.

    • @EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee
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      59•1 year ago

      You’re the APL of their eyes

      • @lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de
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        15•1 year ago

        Ooh that’s a good one

  • konalt
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    176•1 year ago

    JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

    • @tourist@lemmy.world
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      63•1 year ago

      Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

      • @brlemworld@lemmy.world
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        16•1 year ago

        I understand these references.

    • @gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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      20•1 year ago

      And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

    • shameless
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      17•1 year ago

      So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

      • @perishthethought@lemm.ee
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        18•1 year ago

        Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

    • balderdash
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      2•1 year ago

      His name was my name too

    • @demonsword@lemmy.world
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      2•1 year ago

      And he invented JavaScript in a cave, with a box of scraps

      • konalt
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        2•1 year ago

        In 10 days and 10 nights

  • @Daxtron2@startrek.website
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    137•1 year ago

    Little Fortran walks into the living room.

    “Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I’m scared you’ll be mad at me”

    “We’ll still love you no matter what honey.”

    “OK, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I’m a frontend developer”

    “WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don’t come out until you’ve written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff”

    • @Artyom@lemm.ee
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      16•1 year ago

      Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn’t fortran.

  • @Outsider9042@aussie.zone
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    78•1 year ago

    My son is also named Fortran.

    We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

    • DasFaultier
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      32•1 year ago

      “We’re out of BORT license plates!”

    • @LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      1•1 year ago

      When I named my children I made sure to choose names that can always be found in kitschy gift shop items.

  • @ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org
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    72•1 year ago

    Cody C. Sharpe

  • @BmeBenji@lemm.ee
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    72•1 year ago

    I named my daughter Rubyonrails

    We call her “On” for short

    • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      11•1 year ago

      Little Ruby Rhonda

    • @driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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      2•1 year ago

      My first cat was called Rails, but he scaped home to never be see again. The second Ruby, but she died the next day we adopted her. The third one, Rails 2, but we call him Rails because is shorter, he’s 10 yo now.

  • @driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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    69•1 year ago

    I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20’s, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

    Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

    • @LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      10•1 year ago

      So are you saying Fortran Programming is a lucrative skill?

      • @driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br
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        11•1 year ago

        Looking up, in the US its have an average salary of 100k at year. Not sure how that compares with other programming languages. He worked for an oil company, so I guess he had an above average salary for that.

  • I Cast Fist
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    62•1 year ago

    You know what, if I have a boy one day, I’ll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won’t develop a lisp

    • @Telorand@reddthat.com
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      29•1 year ago

      Or a stupid wager.

  • macniel
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    61•1 year ago

    At least it’s not COBOL.

    • Papamousse
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      25•1 year ago

      I learnt COBOL (I’m old) it’s a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

      MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

      and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it’s done automatically pretty well.

      • @BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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        14•
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        1 year ago

        I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

        And it seemed like there’s not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn’t really use it for small projects.

        • @connaisseur@feddit.org
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          12•1 year ago

          The issue with COBOL surely isn‘t about the language itself. The real challenge will be to decipher the spaghetti code that was created at a company in the last sixty or so years. And then to dare changing something without breaking the program as a whole.

          • @BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca
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            8•1 year ago

            That’s easy you just use the huge number of test cases to ensure against introducing new bugs.

            /S

      • katy ✨
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        11•1 year ago
        10 print "Hell here"
        20 goto 10
        
      • Doc Avid Mornington
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        5•1 year ago

        That’s how you talk?

        • Papamousse
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          7•1 year ago

          you shout in COBOL ;-)

          • @vfreire85@lemmy.ml
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            2•1 year ago

            shout shout let it all out

            • @Zink@programming.dev
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              4•1 year ago

              These are the things I can do without: =±*/

    • I Cast Fist
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      15•1 year ago

      Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

      • @Midnitte@beehaw.org
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        6•1 year ago

        Fuck it co., we ball.

  • @xantoxis@lemmy.world
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    56•1 year ago

    This kid’s full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they’re about to experience.

  • @neclimdul@lemmy.world
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    44•1 year ago

    I mean, Fortran isn’t even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it’s still a used language.

    https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

    • Scribbd
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      30•1 year ago

      And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

      Source: Work for a weather institute.

      • Python
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        13•1 year ago

        We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It’s really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

      • @neclimdul@lemmy.world
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        12•1 year ago

        And a lot of science libraries.

        Source: married to a physicist.

    • @naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9•1 year ago

      All the best linalg libraries are in FORTRAN.

      Pretty sure numpy hooks into them. I don’t know anyone who uses computers for serious work that doesn’t use FORTRAN. It’s the best.

      • @jxk@sh.itjust.works
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        4•1 year ago

        Yep, and Matlab too I think

        • @naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          5•1 year ago

          MATLAB is just scipy for people that wear ties.

  • @lseif@sopuli.xyz
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    39•1 year ago

    parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

    • I Cast Fist
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      31•1 year ago

      Neither of them are very sharp

      • @lseif@sopuli.xyz
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        5•1 year ago

        and we dont talk about their half cousin Objective

  • @Presi300@lemmy.world
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    27•
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    3 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • @Kache@lemm.ee
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      3•1 year ago

      That’s only because the former already implies much of the latter, so they don’t need to repeat it

  • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆
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    26•
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    1 year ago

    Tailor Swift

    Ash comes from a busybox… sh…

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