You are the tomato at the bottom of the produce drawer, greeting the new groceries

You discovered that Nicole the Fediverse Chick isn’t really a Polish girl from Toronto

Your career as a crash test dummy was exciting, but brief

You just realized that it wasn’t really Microsoft technical support that you gave root access to on discuss.online

You spent the week being a fabulous person and a productive member of society and you are not behind me right now as I type this

You and @OpenStars@discuss.online had the greatest romance of all time:

https://discuss.online/post/17496263/14542411

Or did ecstasy take me? 🤔

I lost my mind

Fine presidential material right there 🫡

She just found out that it’s legal to drink ketchup straight from the bottle

You had a near death experience and got a swirly from Jock Jesus

You received divine inspiration about Life, the Universe, and Everything, but it was in Welsh, which you don’t speak.

You got distracted at an orgy, looked around, and realized that everyone was facing away from you

You just discovered that some people enjoy holding hands (in public!) and this has shocked you to your core.

Yeah, things are not looking great, but @SaltSong@startrek.website captures my attitude pretty well with this image:

Hoping that the MAGAts turn on Musk/Trump like the hyenas from the Lion King when consequences start happening, but in the meantime that’s my vibe 👆

You had an eye exam and couldn’t even read the first line because you’re legally blind.

You’re a soil scientist that replicated an important study about erosion and fault lines.

You discovered that Hell is real, but only Muppets have souls and can go there

No, it’s entirely true. It doesn’t matter though because it intimidates my enemies regardless

You were this close 🤏 to a proof that P=NP before being jolted awake by aliens ensuring that humanity will never find it.

There’s no AI behind chatgpt, it’s just you typing really fast, and this is what it looks like when you’re busy.