given what “edge” means among the teens these days, microsoft really should go back to the old browser name…microsoft goon

Whoever this “Jerry” is, he needs our help, he may not be sick now, but if he keeps it up he will be

“Feel worthless? Just look at this person who, unlike you, actually has their shit together”

oh shit i gotta warn everybody about 9/11

That letter is all the proof anyone needs that the adults left the room a long time ago. It’s just like one of his dementia-inspired tweets

our ancestors never could have imagined the horrors of having a middle seat on a plane. there isn’t any room for you to manspread, and manspreading is by far the most comfortable way to sit. when i don’t manspread i feel like i can’t breathe

it’s a long shot, but i’m hoping that given how incompetent the trump admin is, they just release all the files on whitehouse.gov, but you can remove the black highlighter with inspect element

you can tell he knows what a good boy he is

whenever i see his name i’m just like

she lies and says she’s in love with him

can’t find a fetterman

so true. if you walk up to me in the middle of the night and ask me if i will have sex with you, i’ll probably say yes

“Says here you’re from…NEW MEXICO! HAH! GOTCHA! I KNEW YOU WERE A MEXICAN!”

shouldn’t there be an easy fix to this madness? just give trump a bright shiny trophy and tell him he earned it all by himself, like a big boy

wait till you get one of those neuralink chips and you’re forced to like all of elon’s tweets

from now on he’s gona be concerned, making texts like “hi son, have you had your daily cock yet?”

TIL it’s 2018

and then if you’re like me and you’re too lazy to type out zsearch every time you just do

alias z="zsearch"

my google search history is cursed but my zsh history is blessed because i can just do

zsearch() { cat ~/.zsh_history | grep "$1" }

hang on let me check my frog folder

i have 684 frogs in my frog folder

The Proud Boys always struck me as something that started off as a joke and then got taken seriously by the wrong people. kinda like how 4chan’s /pol/ board used to be mostly ironic shitposts before it got overrun by actual nazis

i dunno man if you turn off the news and only look at headlines occasionally, the world doesn’t seem like it’s falling apart. i mean it definitely is, but from where you’re standing everything seems fine. works for me