They’re also so bad at grooming their hair like every goddamn day I’ve been licking their legs and they still don’t get it. They really suck at being cats.

Jokes on you, my work week ends on Monday.

The original game & watch got the name because it was a game that also told the time

Hate them as much as you want, Amazon has the best entry level jobs to ever exist, with amazing benefits if you’re permanent and decent benefits if you’re not.

That mandatory overtime tho 😬😬😬😬 (it’s worth it)

Moving out and finally experiencing childhood at 27.

Wtf I’m somehow both of these

Being stuck in a traffic jam while driving. I have a 0% chance because I don’t drive.

A super nintendo shirt, it’s black and has the red logo on it, with a red skirt and black sneakers.

I’m pretty good at super smash bros.

Everything else is complicated. I want to improve but I also don’t. I also don’t want to stagnate or get worse. And I don’t want to abandon them either but I hate doing them.

Include Offline Games by Jindoblu

Yeah it has ads if you’re online but I paid once for no ads, also you could just play offline to have no ads. There are IAPs that could be obtained with a 30 second ad, but they’re not required or forced onto you with bad level design.

I’d rather kill one person rather than many, I just prefer if the one person weren’t mourned

Lemmy learns all mothers aren’t like the cartoon characters

𝓼

Yeah that’s the point I’m trying to make. What’s in that particular brand that actually works?

Yeah but that particular brand actually worked on me lmao. The others with higher doses were as good as just wishing I could sleep

I’ve had the twitching my whole life.

Also I’m not getting paid lmao

I ask because there’s no way it’s just a phobia. Every single time anything goes well something bad happens to balance it out. Yesterday afternoon I went for a ride in the nice weather but it turned out my scooter wasn’t plugged in fully so I only had 50% plus the tires were flat so the mileage was awful. Couldn’t ride for as long as I wanted. Went to the gym and reached my goals and also bought some fast food in the same day despite these bad omens and some of the food leaked in my bag on the way home onto my gym clothes then my phone holder randomly broke so I’ll need a new one. Also my scooter tires were flat so I had to inflate them which took a long time and almost made me late to work. The valve is hard to unscrew and I got a blister on my thumb that hurts like hell. Also my back hurts horribly and it’s interfering with my job alongside that stupid blister. Everything good comes with something at least 1.5x worse. My boyfriend is annoyed at how overprotective and overbearing I am of him, but every time I find someone I actually enjoy being around, they die. I can’t take it anymore.

Not sponsored but MidNite™ Back To Sleep melting tablets have eradicated this struggle so I can spend less time trying to sleep and more time working.

BRUH

The attacks on transgender people will spread to the rest of the LGBTQ community, then the disabled, then immigrants, then Jewish people, and so on. Because first they came for the transgender people and we didn’t speak out.

Fediverse will be regulated by law or some nonsense, making it exactly like the centralized platforms.

President Elon Musk serves half of his third term as permanent president of the United States. All public transit and bike lanes are abolished in favor of cars, and many people go broke after losing their jobs after being unable to afford to make it to work. Inflation is at an all time high with everyone being nostalgic about today’s prices where everything is still affordable. He also makes it illegal to be transgender. We go back to democracy when some rando who deliberately changed their name to a Mario character assassinates Musk.

The next smash cuts a character everyone loves but also has the three house leaders.

The International Brotherhood of Teamsters conveniently forgot about Amazon.

Reddit shuts down or lives on as a husk like 𝕏. Or even better, Elon buys reddit, calls it 𝕏 Communities and throws out brand materials like “subreddit” in favor of generic “community”. Place becomes 𝕏 Draw and is only powered by AI image generators. Each pixel costs one dogecoin and users generate ai images at the resolution of the pixels they own.

Nintendo’s next console is a Switch 3.

Everyone has a folding phone now.