I bounce back and forth, depending on my mood (obviously) and whether or not I have any sort of creative projects to work on or anything that’s keeping me mentally busy (whether it’s a game, a series, a book, a design, research, just something that I feel interested in or passionate about). If I have nothing that’s really driving me, that’s when I feel at my lowest or I’m just mindlessly consuming crap and the days all just sort of blend together, I’m just going through the motions and the world feels dead, or I feel dead, whichever. When I’m in the midst of a creative project though, I get laser focused on that and forget all about everything else and I have purpose. Sometimes though, I’m just meh, like not really driven, but not really depressed.

The Internet that I grew up with though is definitely gone, alot of it feels shallow now, like I don’t go on tangents upon tangents anymore and it doesn’t have the same sense of exploration that it used to. Like I used to find a random page, which had links to other random pages, which had links to other pages, and I would just follow this breadcrumb trail from one place to another. Now you’ve got shitty social media aggregating links and it just doesn’t feel the same. The closest I’ll get to that is going through Wikipedia if I happen to be researching or looking something up, occasionally you just find other topics that get really interesting. The history of Wargames is the latest thing that’s been holding my interest.